Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Super Smash rewrite

On June 29th I posted a fantastic article on here about Super Smash Brothers on Nintendo 64.  Since then I have played a fantastic amount.  I have thus enhanced my knowledge of the game.  I have instituted new tools to the Macier Ross 5-tool system.  Such classic maneuvers as the spike and smash moves have garnered their own spots.  So now we have these criteria, loyal followers:
Power (the ability to kill) ; Volleying (the ability in the air); Speed; Throwing; Resiliency (the ability to live); Spike; Smashing (power "A" moves; Rush:

#12 Link 
Power: B+; Volleying D-; Speed D-; Throwing D+; Resiliency F; Spike F; Smashing C; Rush B-
You probably didn't understand what I was talking about, but anyway there are Link's grades.  He's still the Ethan Albright of Smash.  If there is one thing saving Link from being a total waste as a Smash character it is his power, which comes through his smash maneuvers.  His power "A" down and "B" up ("Flamed" or "Charred") can do some damage, but he's too slow for the moves to get him very far.  By the time Link has managed enough contact for the moves to kill, he's already died two or three times.  His bombs provide good entertainment, plus it's always a fun challenge to try and win as Link.  His through is a little below average because of it's slow and lengthy tendency, but it does do some damage the one out of ten times it works.  He has no spike maneuver, and his ability to get back is worse than metal mario who is metal.
Overall Grade: F-
#11 Jigglypuff
Power C; Volleying D; Speed C; Throwing C; Resiliency C-; Spike C; Smashing B; Rushing C
Not many Failing grades for Jiggly, unfortunately not many spectacular grades either.  In smash, average is not always the best.  Even if a character is terrible at one thing, being outstanding in another can rectify it.  Being too mediocre is even worse than having weaknesses in this game because you cannot play to a character's strengths and avoid weaknesses.  That said, Jiggly does have some covert greatness.  Her smash moves are all solid.  Her power "A" down and power "A" up are both above average smash moves.  Also there is "The Combo".  the spiral "a" down kick to "b" down ("Screech") is the most devastating two move combo in Smash.  Also look to utilize her 30 degrees of peril.
Overall Grade: D
#10 Luigi 
Power C+; Volleying C+; Speed D; Throwing C+; Resiliency B; Spike F; Smashing B-; Rush F
Some of you were probably sitting there thinking "Are there even going to be any changes?".  Well, the answer to that riddle is "yes".  Luigi was #6 on my last ranking, but he drops down a whopping four spots to the third worst character in smash.  He is only salvaged by Link's god awfulness and Jiggly's mediocrity.  Luigi does have some good qualities.  His "B" up ("The Ching") can be a real threat, but it's hard to utilize.  His smash moves are a little above average.  He has two average smash moves and an above average power "A" up.  He also can jump very well which makes him a tough K.O.  Luigi's worst quality is his rush attack which is possibly the worst maneuver in the entire game.  
Overall Grade: D 
#9 Samus Aran
Power B; Volleying B-; Speed F; Throwing D; Resiliency B+; Spike B; Smashing C-; Rush C+
In the end, this game all comes down to one thing and that's out living the opponent.  This girl (I didn't know either) can do that.  Samus almost always gives a player the opportunity to win if you play it right.  Samus is at her worst in a direct combat against one other player.  She is also not very good in a mosh pit.  Samus is at her best when you can utilize her "Kamehameha" ("B" move) without being interrupted and her soaring back kick ("A" back in the air).  Samus is too slow to win consistently in championship play, but she can eek out wins from time to time thanks to her ability to live.
Overall Grade: C
#8 Yoshi
Power B; Volleying D; Speed D+; Throwing F; Resiliency C+; Spike A-: Smashing B+; Rush B-
The decision to put Yoshi here comes down to the same reason Samus is at #8, resiliency.  Except this time resiliency is a setback.  Yoshi has no "B" up maneuver which helps him return to the stage.  Instead, you have to rely on one hefty leap.  If you are hit after making the leap, sorry you're dead.  Yoshi can make kills via his good power and by using his head/face.  All three of Yoshi's smash maneuvers are excellent.  His smashing only isn't an "A" because the slow nature of his power "A" over technique.  His power "A" up is one of the deadliest moves in the game because it can kill you when you are on either side of this dynamic dinosaur.  The "Yoshi Spike" is deadly, as he catapults you to the doldrums of the SSB universe.  Finally there are Yoshi's eggs.  Both throwing the eggs with "B" up and "Pooping" with "B" makes SSB very jovial.
Overall Grade: C
#7 Captain Falcon
Power A; Volleying B-; Speed B; Throwing D+; Resiliency D-; Spike D+; Smashing D; Rush C
Another victim of recent Super Smash play is the good 'ol Captain.  Falcon is one of my favorite characters to play with, so it isn't a surprise that I was able to learn more about the character recently.  Looking at his first three marks you wonder how Captain Falcon fell so far, but it is his resiliency (or lack there of) which caused his collapse (Post-Amerika).  Falcon is the second worst resilient character (another thanks goes out to Link for being terrible).  Also, his spike is difficult to use.  Finally, two uber keys to SSB play, smashing and throwing, are very weak.  He has a great power "A" over (The "Meow"), but his power "A"'s up and down are awful.  Don't forget about his ultimate attack, the "Falcon Punch".  It does damage.  Also "B" down "Falcon Kick" is one of the best cheap shots around.
Overall Grade: C+
#6 Mario
Power C; Volleying B-; Speed C+; Throwing C; Resiliency B+; Spike F; Smashing B+; Rush A
The Nintendo Champion returns.  Formerly named the second worst player in SSB, but look at Mario now.  Quickly ascending the rankings, he's found a place in the top 50% of characters.  Mario's "B" up ("Coiner") gives him something all other players envy...the ability to avoid spikes and many cheap shots.  Also, Mario's smashes are among the best, and his power "A" up ("Big Hat") is one of the best moves around.  His rush attack ("The Slider") is the best around, and combos well with a power "A" down.  If Mario had a better spike he'd make a top four character.  If he was a little faster, he may crack the top 3
Overall Grade B-
#5 Ness 
Power C+; Volleying C; Speed D+; Throwing A; Resiliency B; Spike A; Smashing D-; Rush C
I received a little hate mail when I announced that Ness was to fall out of the top 4.  Many people think Ness would be the best character, since he is usually the last character to be unlocked.  The boy genius does have some very perceptible weaknesses that a veteran player can easily exploit.  First, Ness is terrible in group battle.  One v. one Ness is tough to beat, but in a mosh pit he is very susceptible due to the longevity of his smash moves (remember!  The power "A" down {"Yo-Yo} goes backwards first).  Also, during his "B" up Ness is more than vulnerable to cheap shots.  Try to take advantage of these situations to counter Ness's incredible grab move and his dominating spike ("Ness Spike" or "F**k You")
Overall Grade B- 
#4 Fox McCloud
Power D; Volleying B; Speed A; Throwing C-; Resiliency B-; Spike D-; Smashing B; Rush B
Fox jumps a couple of spots up.  Truly dominant speed allows Fox to be a terrific character.  He rolls with incredible proficiency and this gives a player an immediate advantage.  My favorite move with Fox is his power "A" down.  Another great move of McCloud's is his volleying "A" up.  This double kick is the bane of kirby's everywhere.  Finally, try using Fox's "B" down ("The Shield") for more than just deflecting Samus's "Kamehameha".  It is his only real spike, but takes a veteran presence to utilize. 
Overall Grade: B
#3 Pikachu
Power C+; Volleying A; Speed A-; Throwing B; Resiliency B+; Spike F; Smashing A; Rush D+
He is my favorite character a legitimate badass.  Pikachu has very few weaknesses.  His "B" up ("Agility") is the best move for getting back in the game, his power "A" over ("Thunderbolt") is the best cheap shot in the game and his "B" down ("Thunder") really packs a punch.  Pikachu doesn't have a spike or a rush, but his ability to volley teams through the air with lightning quick combos.  His biggest weakness is his natural aerodynamic body.  Pikachu is a total badass.
Overall Grade:A-
#2 Donkey Kong
Power A+; Volleying D; Speed D; Throwing A+; Resiliency A; Spike B; Smashing D; Rush D
Donkey Kong is a player with more weakness than pikachu.  He may be the easiest player in the game to spike not named Link.  He doesn't have great smash moves and no rush attack to speak of.  However, D.K.'s strengths are so dominant.  DK's throw is far and away the best in the game.  It includes the world renowned "Moment of Invincibility" where DK cannot be hit.  His speed is only a D+ because of his throw's quickness.  His "B" move ("The Punch") is the most powerful maneuver in SSB.  Also he has two spikes, but both can be difficult to use.  The "A" over in the air ("Donkey Spike") has a phenomenal angle for finishing opponents.  Also there is "A" down in the air ("Monkey Feet") which is much harder to use, but is the bane of Jiggly's trying to grab the edge all over the SSB universe.  
Overall Grade:A-
#1 Kirby
Power B+; Volleying B-; Speed B; Throwing D; Resiliency A+; Spike A+; Smashing A; Rush C+
Hail to the King!  Kirby retains his title as the best player in Super Smash Bros.  He is still far and away the best character in the game.  He is nearly impossible to kill, mainly because he is killing you first.  Unless played by n00bs, Kirby is nearly unstoppable.  Perhaps the best move in the game is his world famous power "A" over ("Kirby Kick").  This smash brings tears to the eyes of Bear Grylls and has been known to cause more than one suicide due to fear.  Also there is his specialty "B" move ("Suck").  This allows Kirby to take over some of the more impressive moves such as DK's "The Punch" and the "Falcon Punch" and turn them into his own moves "The Go" and "Psycho Punch" respectively.  Finally there are the Kirby spikes including "A" down in the air ("Kirby Spike") and "B" up ("Sword Spike") each of which are known for killing opponents with less than 20% damage.  Kirby rules the SSB world, there is no doubting that. 
Overall Grade: A+

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