Super Smash on N64

This is a simple list, but a list nonetheless. It has been a long time coming that I blog about Super Smash Bros on Nintendo 64, so I feel the time has come. I haven't wrote in a while and really need something to stir the pot that people won't read, so here we go. The OFFICIAL rankings of characters in Smash and many other echelonic (not really a word) things:

The stars: 1) killing ability, 2) ability in the air 3) quickness 4) throwing 5) ability to live
e.g. five-tool * * * * *, two star * _ _ * _, etc....5-stars=phenom; 4-stars=above average; 3-stars=mediocre; 2-stars=below average; 1-star=horrendous

1) Kirby * * * * *...obviously the best character in the game. The easiest to play with as a beginner or a veteran (if there is such a thing beside myself). He truly displays what Muhammad Ali said, "floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee". He is one of the hardest to kill, because he usually kills you first. His power "a" over maneuver has been known to make a wolverine purr (or die). His brick move ("b" down) tames the most unruly wildebeest and he can puff with the best. Kirby is the only 5-star player in the game.

2) Donkey Kong * * _ * *...DK's throw is one of the best in the game, it is unfair fast. The rest of his game is too slow to garner a 5-star rating, but he makes up for it in his power. He is hard to kill because he can take loads of damage. His "b" punch may need a little warming up, but is the most powerful move in the game. His power "a" up has been known to make the Most Interesting Man in the World sweat.

3) Pikachu _ * * * *...I was reluctant to give Pikachu only 4-stars. He has such a complete game, but he doesn't have near the killing ability of other characters. His agility is the best "b" up in the game. You can make stunning comebacks and make up for his natural aerodynamics. Pikachu's power "a" over may be the best cheap shot in the game, making him more of a killer, but from the middle of the map, he is hard to get kills with. He has great ability with lightning "a" combos that dumbfound Stephen Hawking.

4) Ness * * _ * *... A similar character to DK. The only true difference is his ability to live comes from a good jump and "b" up rather than fat. He makes a great character in the air with use of his "a" down, an almost auto kill and the bane of links everywhere. His grab is one of the best, and is quicker than Tyson Gay (pending results against Usain Bolt)

5) Capt. Falcon * * * _ _...This is where it actually gets harder. Capt. Falcon is the best of the 3-star players. He has great killing ability with a solid finisher with Falcon Punch ("b") He has nice "a" moves (always important) and is the fastest runner in the game (comparable to Ness's grab). He can make quick work in the air with solid moves all-around. The trouble comes with his grabbing. Grabbing is so important in this game it is its own tool, but Capt. Falcon's grab is not good enough to make him a truly dominant character. He always has a "b" up move that kills well, but is not good for getting back to the map (a "b" up move's main purpose)

6) Fox McCloud _ _ * * *...He has a proper name and quite an array of abilities. His power "a" over is his only true killing move, but his power "a" down is the only one that hits to both sides simultaneously. This makes it beyond value. His "b" down is the bane of Samus and the counter to the pesky things such as Yoshi's eggs or Link's bombs. He cannot kill too well and has trouble in the air, this puts him behind the pace. If his grab were as dominant as DK's or if he had a cheap shot move like Ness or Pikachu, he may be higher.

7) Yoshi * * _ _ *...Having a bad grab move makes him less than Fox. His power "a" up may be the best in the game and his "b" up eggs are so fun. He may not have a "b" up that helps him get back, but he is hard to hit while fluttering trough the air. This allows him to live longer than other characters as cheap shots are a key to being a mass murderer in Smash.

8) Luigi * _ _ * *...This marks the end of our 3-stars. He only gets a * for ability to kill because he has a nice "b" up and "b" down. Take advantage of his jump, it is really high. Finally, he has a nice grab that counter acts poor quickness.

9) Samus Aran * _ _ _ *...For some reason, Samus is a girl. This bounty hunter has a nice cannon is is blonde, but don't mistake her for hitting like a girl. She is a pure bred killer. Her "b" may need to be powered up, but is a gun that is shot (how redundant?). Her grab is powerful, but far too slow and costly to garner a star. She doesn't do much in the air. She doesn't have a great jump and isn't very fat, but she is hard to kill, it seems innate. She grasps the edge well and is often hiding to warm-up her blaster.

10) Jigglypuff * * _ _ _...Many people would put Jiggly dead last, and it is true that she isn't very good; however, if you can use her right, you may make her a champ. Jiggly produces fear in anyone with her mid-air "a" down to screech "b" down combo. Prepare to fall asleep with her annoying "b", but also be ready to get a lot of kills as this little puff ball flies. Unlike Kirby, her "b" up doesn't get her anywhere. Effective use of pure "b" makes it a little better, but not much.

11) Mario _ * _ _ _...oh, woe, how the mighty have fallen. It was as if Nintendo was trying to make its face character too good that it forgot to make it good. It made Mario bad at nothing, but good at nothing. He has a nice running "a" and a good mid-air "a" over, but that makes up most of his goodness. He is so average he is not average. It makes me sick making all of these oxymoronic comments, but i digress. If you like Mario, then you may be living the mediocre life complained about by Bruce in "Bruce Almighty". I suggest trying to spice things up with his "b" meatballs, it makes the experience bearable.

12) Link * _ _ _ _...If there was ever going to be a character created in a game that was good at nothing, it may be Link. He is the Ethan Albright of Smash. I only gave him a star in mercy, which he deserves for having bombs to throw making it fun. One may look at his moves and say, there is potential, and to you I say, "no". He is too slow to kill, too bad at getting back to win, and too bad to play. Link makes Jiggly into Kirby and Kirby into some Demigod-like individual with semi-divine powers. That wolverine that was purring at Kirby would rip Link to pieces. In other words, he is bad.

In Conclusion: I am a nerd and like Smash. If you disagree, comment or email me. This could create uber controversy, finally, some argument.

The best pitchers from the 2009 MLB Draft and the Shadow one casts:

Mike Leake is no Stephen Strasburg. Strasburg was the #1 overall pick in the 2009 draft. Spending just two months in the minor leagues (to avoid arbitration?) Strasburg made a much hyped debut last night, and it was beautiful. 7 innings pitched, only 2 earned runs. The proverbial cherry?, try 14 strikeouts. His 14 are the second most ever in a debut, (two pitchers are tied with 15). Everyone is aware Strasburg was facing the Pirates, not much different than the AAA minor league teams Strasburg had been obliterating. He throws 98 miles per hour, and has even reached 100. His Change-up sinks like the Lusitania and has a Slurve that moves from the strike-zone's top-right to bottom-left. He made the Pirates look foolish. They had no chance to beat Strasburg. Had he his Change-up not gone 91-mph. Delwyn Young would not have had the pop to hit a homerun and Strasburg probably would have shutout the Pirates. ESPN announced more than a week prior to his debut that Strasburg was pitching. National Stadium was standing room only (now that is amazing). ESPN ran countdowns to his first pitch, MLB Network picked up the game to show the country, and everyone wanted to see the first big league pitch of Stephen Strasburg. Even if Strasburg wanted to avoid the spotlight, he couldn't.

Leake on the other hand, had nearly no hype on his debut. It was the sixth game of the year. Leake did nothing impressive in the minor leagues.....wait, he skipped those. He came straight from Arizona State to the big leagues. He pitched 6.2 innings, garnered 5 k's, and allowed only one earned run. He did not get his first big league win, he only received a no decision. His Fastball goes 89-92, topping out at 92. He has a nice Change-up and a good Slider. He does not overpower, he does nothing to attract the hype that a fireballer like Strasburg does; however, Mike Leake is 5-0. He should have two or three more wins, and deserves every win he does have. His earned runs average is a minuscule 2.22. If it stays that way, He will be much higher than 7th in the National League. He makes every pitch with precision. He is reminiscent of Greg Maddux, who everyone remembers. Leake made his debut and there was hardly a whimper from ESPN or the press. He has taken care of business, but still the spotlight eludes him. Even if Leake doesn't want any attention he deserves it.

In Conclusion: Stephen Strasburg and Mike Leake were selected last year. Strasburg first overall by the Washington Nationals, Leake eight by the Cincinnati Reds. As first-rounders, they should both be expected to perform at a high level. They both have, but Strasburg's sample size is a little smaller. He certainly showed he has the stuff, but so has Leake. Strasburg will be the talk of the town, maybe for the rest of the year. Leake has slipped into Strasburg's shadow, and may remain there for the rest of his career. Leake deserves more publicity than he is getting.....Although I don't see a blog with two followers getting the job done. The news will not turn on Strasburg anytime soon, but it will be exciting to see who loses first.

Jason Donald Blows Perfect Game

There seem to be an overabundance of perfect games this year in baseball. There have already been two, tying this year with 1880 for the most in a single season. Roy Halladay and Dallas Braden had the shortest period between two perfect games, 20 days. Also, Braden's perfect game this year game against the team with the best winning percentage coming into the game, The Tampa Bay Rays were 22-8 (.733%). You can see where it would be a problem if this decade was already within one of the record of perfect games, (1990's with 4). It is completely justified that Jim Joyce would call Cleveland Indian's great Jason Donald safe at first when he was clearly out with 2 outs in the ninth inning and a perfect game in the making. Jim Joyce just thought it was too ridiculous for this season to have three perfect games already. I mean, how ridiculous. He easily could have called Jason Donald out, I mean Joe Indians' fan would have called Donald out, but Joyce did not want struggling Tigers' starter Armando Galarraga to join one of baseball's more elite clubs. I have watched the video ten times. Every single time I laugh, check it out, http://mlb.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=8616789....funny, right? You have to wonder what Joyce was thinking. He obviously has to shoulder some of the blame for the incident. However, i feel that Jason Donald is the true culprit in the crime. What was he thinking? If i was in his spot, I may have pretended to slip, fall over, anything. There was no chance that your team is coming back, there are two outs in the top of the ninth, and the opposing pitcher has a perfect game. Watch the video again, http://mlb.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?content_id=8616789. After he is called safe, Donald clearly placed his hands on his head. Whether it is in disbelief that Jim Joyce called him safe, or if he has been overcome with a severe stomach cramp (or if the ladder is from the former), it should be completely overshadowed by his clear attempt to ruin the perfect game. Joyce was only rewarding great hustle. Donald takes the quickest route to the bag, running way out of the baseline to make it there faster (in theory). Why not? I mean Donald was going down the line at a full sprint, and try to convince me that the clap at the end was not accompanied by a smile and thought of "Ha, screwed you!".

In Conclusion:
Jim Joyce made an absolutely horrendous call in the Indians-Tigers extravaganza. He blew Armando Galarraga's perfect game and brought utter hysteria among anyone who is a fan of baseball. Being the solution-ist and thinker that I am, I have decided Joyce was only rewarding great hustle, and the culprit in the entire scenario is Indians' great Jason Donald. Whether it was hate for the Tigers, hate for Galarraga, a need to use the bathroom, hatred for the game of baseball, stupidity, or resentment for being the ninth hitter in the lineup, whatever drove Jason Donald to sprint as quickly as possible down the line caused Jim Joyce to have an epic brain burp and hop on the failboat and relieved Armando Galarraga of a perfect game.